Endear Yourself to Me!!

With the Holidays already upon us, I am thinking about my wish list. Might I indulge in some fantasy with you all?

Now I realize that Guests are not there for our convenience. We are there for THEIR convenience. Their convenience pays our bills. I am keeping this in mind as I write the following. (So don't get all aggro on me)

Don't ask questions with subjective answers.

"Is the potato salad TOO mustardy"? What are we supposed to say? "Yes, we make it too mustardy on purpose so no one will like it"


"Is the sweet tea TOO sweet"? "Why yes ma'am. If the spoon does not stand straight up on its own, we just keep adding sugar until it does." Also, ordering half and half tea is lame. Either you want sweet tea or you don't. I will let you in on a secret. If someone orders half and half tea, I just give them unsweetened. It saves (me and them) a lot of aggravation. Sweetness is subjective anyway. I have never had a complaint serving unsweetened tea for half and half tea. I HAVE however, had half and half tea sent back for being "too sweet". Anyway, why haven't these people heard of Atkins? Diabetes? Splenda? Sugar is the new second hand smoke.

"Is the smoked chicken good"

"No, actually it is horrible but they keep it on the menu for some reason"


Don't Order "in between" temperatures


"I want my Steak between medium and medium rare"

Gotcha...one Ribeye cooked medium rare coming right up.

Make a commitment. This isn't a tattoo. Again, we are falling into subjective territory. My medium rare might be tartare to you. I am not trying to be difficult or Diva-like I promise. The fewer instructions I have to give the kitchen, the less chance of your order getting screwed up.

Restaurants are not the place to explore your culinary creativity.

If you want to anger the cooks, the owners, and management, I would say the best way would be to recreate a menu item so that it no longer resembles the menu. Now, asking them to add cheese or bacon to a sandwich is not a problem. Asking to leave off lettuce and tomato..again...no problem. Here is an example of when it becomes a problem.

"Yes, I would like the cobb salad please. But instead of iceberg lettuce I want you to use romaine. Also, please leave off the egg, cheese, tomato, and avocado. Add some pine nuts and extra croutons...and mix up ranch and bleu cheese together...and serve it on the side."

Seriously folks, I have had the line cooks crumble up tickets and throw them in my face when putting in orders like that. It makes progress come to a screeching halt. The reason why this never works is that in chain restaurants, most of their food comes frozen, pre-packaged and pre-portioned. The "cooks" basically are microwaving, deep frying, and garnishing. Everything is already in the food.

In the family owned eateries, it is simply insulting and rude to ask them to completely alter a recipe because you "want it how you want it" On a nicer note...OPEN YOUR MIND. Try the recipe "as is". You might find you actually LIKE dried cranberries and oranges in your Asian chicken salad.

Putting on the Apron

Do you have what it takes to be a Server Extraordinaire?

1) Are you able to work under intense, short term stress?

2) Can you multi task with the best of them?

3) Can you communicate effectively?

4) Are you able to "read people" to get an idea of what their needs are?

If you answered yes to these questions, you might be qualified to put the apron on.



Do not get into the Service industry if...

1) You think Serving is a nowhere job.

2) If you do not care about people

3) If your feelings are easily hurt


You absolutely SHOULD try Serving if

1) You think it easy

2) It pains you to leave more than a 10% tip, even for excellent service.

3) You think that servers could not find better jobs elsewhere.

Please, give it a try. We welcome you...in fact, we fantasize about it.

Why would anyone want to wait tables??

I am sure some people wonder why ANYONE would choose to wait tables for a living as opposed to something more "respectable". You don't need a college degree to it. It SEEMS easy, right? You write down orders, bring out food, fill drinks, and collect money. Isn't it just glorified fast food work?

If you think that, then you have never worked for tips before.

Yes, it can be a thankless job. You walk up to a table and greet your guests only to have them barely nod at you. They send you back three times for drinks because each soda flavor tastes flat. (It doesn't matter that you told them before that they ALL will be flat because the carbonation comes from the same place.) They take plates out of your hands or grab things off your tray. They "one more thing" you to death (sending you on four trips what could have been taken care of in one) They sit and visit long after closing, making you miss valuable sleep, study, or family time. Then they leave you a tip that doesn't even make it worth it the time you lost. You never know if you are going to make 1000 dollars that week, or 300 dollars. Those are some of the downsides to waiting tables.

The upsides are numerous. You can make wonderful money in a short amount of time. Depending on the state you live in, you can make anywhere from $2.13 per hour or $8.00 per hour, depending on wage and labor laws. When you count tips, you can average about $20.00 per hour. YOU have some control over your income. You can work as many or as few hours as you choose. Most people do not mind tipping well for good service, so if you are a thorough conscientious server, you can make excellent tips. Some servers complain that they never have enough money to pay their bills, so they want to give it up and go get a "real job" with a real paycheck. Good luck with that. I used to think that I never made money as well until I started keeping track of my tips when I was buying my home. I was amazed at what I ended up making in a month. Keep a tip journal and be amazed. When I was working at a moderately busy family owned eatery, I was making an average of $700 per week. It simply did not seem possible. There were days I left work, having made only $50. I made the majority of my cash on the weekends. I averaged almost $400 on a good weekend. $100 per shift was the average weeknight dinner shift. I compared notes with some of my college friends who actually finished college and were embarking on wonderful careers...and I made more money than many of them. In addition to that, my work was enjoyable and I could leave it at work when it was time to go home. Any problems disappeared as soon as I clocked out.

Once, I got a good routine going that worked for me....the work became enjoyable and easy. It is perfect for a college student. You can make decent money in a short shift. (most serving shifts are 6 hours or less). It is cash in your pocket daily and you won't go hungry.

Of course it is not for everyone. If you think you are just going to write down orders, plop down plates of food, and walk home with pockets full of cash...you are sadly mistaken. Keep reading to see if you have what it takes.

Welcome to "Ask the Waitress"

Welcome to my brain child!

I post on various message boards. They cover everything from religion and politics to family and hobbies. I have found one topic that always gets a lot of attention. DINING OUT.

Everyone dines out, works in a restaurant, or has, at one point in their lives, put on the apron. On these threads people will vent and rave about their dining out experiences. Servers will vent about rude guests and poor tippers. Guests vent about poor service or the unfairness of tips.

That is when it occurred to me to create a place on the web exclusively for talk of this sort.

What are my qualifications you ask?

Well, for starters I am a server/bartender. I work in a famous fine dining steak house. I also work in a family owned Bistro for lunch as well as pick up free lance bar tending work for private parties and catering. I can also speak with some authority as a guest/customer as well. In my 30 something years on this Earth, I have probably done more dining out than cooking. I know what is reasonable to expect from a dining experience.

Please feel free to comment on any of the topics. Feel free to disagree. Just as long as you realize I am always right, we will get along JUST fine.